giving up

How to Stop Giving Up On Yourself When Shit Gets Hard

How do you handle things when things get hard? Do you lean into the shit storm and see it through to the other side? Or do you give up? 

I've been thinking about this a lot. About why people give up. And why some people rise to the occasion, crash into their fears and see the shit storm through to the other side. 

I've been talking to a few coaches on my team about how it's totally normal to feel uncomfortable and terrified. We're all entrepreneurs and let me tell ya, while the work from home and make your own hours has a billion perks, it requires you to dive in and bust through your comfort zones like woah. My journey of entrepreneurship has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs filled with so much self-discovery and failing forward along the way. 

But here's the thing -- so often, the minute things get hard or they don't go the way we think they should, people give up. Why? Because it's EASY to stay in our comfort zones. To stick to the status quo. 

We start something new and exciting -- like a workout program, a creative endeavour, a business venture -- and at first, it's SO AMAZING. It's FRESH. It makes us giddy just thinking about it. But when the rush of the honeymoon stage begins to wear off, and we see how much work and dedication it will take, we start to wonder if we should keep on pursuing it at all. 

So really, you have two choices: quit or figure it out.

The easy choice is to quit. Give up on yourself and go back to your life. 

And I'll be honest? There have been many times when my inner mean girl is like giiiiirl, just stop. Put some Netflix on and just put all the things aside.

When I had my quarter life crisis moment in 2015, I hit that crossroads. I was trying so hard to make it as a full time actor and was KILLING MYSELF working a billion day jobs and running to auditions every single day and just not getting anywhere. I felt like a total failure. And I was miserable.

I knew something had to change, but I also knew that giving up on my dream of being an actor was just not going to happen. 

SO, instead of continuing to run on that hamster wheel of death and pave the path of what other artists deemed successful -- I decided to create my own version of it. And I've been building my coaching biz ever since. That being said, being an entrepreneur, I've had hundreds of moments where I've wanted to give up. It's SO satisfying but also hard AF. 

And you're on this crazy amazing rollercoaster. The highs are SO life giving and beautiful, and the lows can be soul crushing. And for most, those lows become an OUT. A way to say "ok, I tried, but I'm not doing this anymore". And I'll be honest -- I've had those moments. When I have a big day in my business and push myself wayyy out of my comfort zone, all I want to do the next day is curl up in my pjs with my pup, and binge watch the Bachelor.

I'm working on finding the flow of it all. Of breaking the habit of backing off and slowing down when things get hard -- and there have been 3 things that have been VITAL for this process for me. 

  1. Practice. Busting through your comfort zone and doing hard things can feel super SCARY. But it's through these things that we GROW into the best versions of ourselves. And as Tony Robbins always says, the key to happiness is consistent growth. So practice! When you feel yourself wanting to give up mid workout, dig in and see how much further you can push your body. 
  2. Give yourself some epic self love. How can we rock this? Wake up early and fill your brain with positivity. Read an inspiring book (check out my top 5 faves for inspo here!). Practice positive self talk. Make a gratitude list. Braindump all of your thoughts onto paper and let that shit go. When we're fueling our minds with goodness, the hard shit won't feel so insurmountable.
  3. Meditate. The best thing you can do when life gets hard? Find a quiet space and BREATHE. So often our emotions and anxieties are just side effects of living in the shit for too long. So step away from it and give yourself some space to just be with yourself. And once you've found some grounding, come back to it and dive in with a clear mind and heart.

As my coach and biz wifey always says, "You can do hard things."

And she's right. I can. And so can you, beautiful girl. 

I challenge you to lean into the fear. Say YES to yourself and your dreams, especially when shit gets hard.

Because if you do, you'll be one step closer to that HIGH VIBE, BADASS version of you you were put on this Earth to be. 

And that girl? She's worth fighting for.


Xo, your no BS soul sistah,